3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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