I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
