Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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