This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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