Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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