dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize