mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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