We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
