I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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