I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
