My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
