Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
