weddingsv make me drug and hornr
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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