You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
