I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize