I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize