There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
