From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
