I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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