is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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