Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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