he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
