Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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