can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
