the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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