Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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