Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
