Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
