Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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