Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I spit up blood this morning
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
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dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"