I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...