She is in my trunk
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night