I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.