Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
