Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
