You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize