he wants to bone in the snuggie
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
