You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
