people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
