Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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