he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize