i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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