Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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