can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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