Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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