Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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