My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
