Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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