Just cropdusted the office
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
