Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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