porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
