drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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