I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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