was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
