She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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