I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need water and some morals
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
