Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
