did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
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U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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