so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
